Friday, August 21, 2009

Today I walked down to the levy from my house... it is a beautiful, albeit hot day in Fort Worth, Texas and I only have a few more days to enjoy "home" before heading back to my other "home." Isn't it funny how home is not ever just a place? I think it is the weirdest thing... every time I leave home for school, it is bittersweet. Every time I leave school for home, it is bittersweet. I'm amazed at how God has provided me with family in both locations. Two years ago, I never would have thought it was possible to love two places the way I love good ol' Fort Worth and Rochester. 

The levy was so beautiful, brilliant blue sky with a few fluffy clouds- all results of the massive thunder storm that woke me up last night. The river was relatively full for August and very still. Grasshoppers were just having a heyday and a few wildflowers were still surviving the heat. I'm thankful for my ability to appreciate the beauty of God's creation today. Isn't it strange and intriguing that there are days when our senses are heightened by God's love and also days when we cannot perceive the beauty around us for the heaviness of our hearts? Yesterday was a heavy heart day... today, I feel wrapped ever so tightly in God's grace. However, it is always going to be a constant battle. That's what life is, a consistently fiercer battle. 

A friend of mine once reminded me that God shows his love for us by constantly refining us- a refiner's fire is going to be hot... there is no way to avoid pain. But when we feel this pain, we are assured of our Father's deep love for us. It makes me think of the song, "Consuming fire, fan into flame a passion for your name! Spirit of God, fall in this place. Lord, have your way. Lord, have your way with us." 

So, I am going to continually try to dwell contentedly in the promise that pain is only a necessity of this life, preparing me for the future. We are aliens and strangers in this land- we should always long for something more. This longing should be characterized by the sweetness of peace in God... something he is always ready to provide if we just ask and allow his love to quiet our hearts. If you haven't ever, listen to Mercy Me's song, "Homesick." It's been stuck in my head a lot lately! 

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